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Had my last day of teaching at the lycée— pretty lonesome, I had three people say goodbye to me, one was a very sweet ‘Bonne continuation!’ which made me smile, and another ‘It was a pleasure working with you’. Even on my last day the teachers were still doing the thing: ‘Oh I meant to tell you I don’t need you today’.
I think thus far in my life this is the thing I’ve done I’m most proud of, seeing out the end of this contract, fulfilling my promise I made to myself to come back to Paris to live, speaking this language, meeting a few very kind, very great people (and many more shitty ones), and suffering through French bureaucracy. It’s difficult constructing a life, then having to dismantle it 8 months later. I wasn’t the best assistant, but I didn’t set out to be because in truth the assistantship is a pretense.
I know one day I’ll go back to that lycée, see the Rosny-sous-Bois mall, the café at Pontault-Combault, the same people will probably be on the train. I was a familiar face to them for a year. I don’t know if people ought to ‘touch’ each other, make some meddlesome ‘influence’, but sometimes maybe its enough just to be placed alongside another’s life.
i have my last day tomorrow. i feel very weird.
i am very hungover. just spilled a mug of lukewarm tea all over my body and keyboard. sat in at least three different very public places around town drinking cheap french wine directly from the bottle last night.
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